Hard Reset
by subseeker
Summary: "I want you, okay?" Roman shouted, the words passing his lips too fast for his brain to stop his tongue from forming them and the second they were out, his heart plummeted to his belly. (Ambreigns, two-shot... ignore my summary probs and try it ;)
1. Chapter 1

Dumdidumdi... I have started this one a few days ago and actually I wanted it to be a one-shot, but since the fic turns out to be longer than I planned it to be, I decided to make two chapters out of it. So here we have the first chapter. The second one will follow within the next days.

It's just a little Ambreigns something, nothing spectacular, but maybe you'll have fun reading it nevertheless. So, enjoy :)

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The fairytales about Dean not knowing how to use a phone weren't true… well, at least not all of them. He only had issues sometimes in making the poor device understand what he actually wanted and so every once in a while it ended up with Dean staring utterly confused at his phone while muttering something like _I think I just deleted the internet_. In those moments it seemed that his phone stared right back at him and you could almost _see_ a thought bubble hovering over the small item with a fat _dafuq does he want?!_ written in it.

And he also had an amazing talent in accidently pushing button combinations which caused his phone to do things it sure never had been supposed to do. Ever. It was safe to say that Dean managed to find the Easter Egg that actually shouldn't be there at all in every phone he got in his fingers. And Roman was sure that one day this man would unintentionally push a button combination that might cause a random bomb that was hidden somewhere on this earth to go off and unleash the third world war or something.

It was annoying at times. And it was just as lovable.

The thing with Dean was that, no matter how good you knew this man, you never knew _which_ Dean you got.

There was Dean, this rough guy who never backed down from a fight, with an ego that all too often seemed to be _too big_ to actually fit into the man himself. The guy who punched, kicked, scratched and bit, did all it took to win and even if you knocked him down, he climbed back to his feet before you could actually wipe the sweat from your forehead. Dean the tough, rough bad boy.

And beneath all this there was a soft core hidden, one that made him this adorable little boy he could be at times and when you got a glimpse at that part of him you saw sparkling eyes and an impish smile and although he claimed that he had lost his innocence a long time ago, you could see that some of it was still there. It was in those moments that Roman felt a certain sweet ache in his chest and that he needed to step between Dean and the world around them to make sure this part of his friend would stay unharmed. Forever.

Well, then there was also charming Dean who actually managed to make girls lose their panties just by giving them a smirk and an appreciating eyebrow and clumsy Dean who sometimes managed to put his foot in his mouth and had phone issues. Dean the loveable jerk. There was vulnerable Dean who sought shelter by the ones he trusted. And then there was sexy Dean…

And all those Deans… Roman knew them. Every single one of them and when you got closer to this man, when you got in the range of being one of his closest friends, the impact of all those sides of Dean was… breathtaking. Dean was _addictive_.

_Too_ addictive…

It was the very reason _it_ happened. That _thing_ that had never been supposed to happen. But it _had_ happened and it left Roman at a loss what to do about it.

… about his feelings for his friend that had become more than deepest friendship…

The attraction he felt was strong. So goddamn, fucking strong that he sometimes could barely look Dean in the eyes because it _pulled_ at him, pulled him in and held him in his orbit... like a helpless satellite, revolving around a planet with a gravity that was much too strong to break out.

There had always been kind of a sexual tension between them, undeniably present. Mostly because they were both alpha males and often enough it broke through, that silly alpha male dominance thing.

He loved Dean, this man was his best friend after all, but this attraction, it was...

... if he only knew what it was. But he had no idea what label to put on it...

The first time he had noticed _it_ was in a completely unspectacular situation. The morning after a show, them sharing a hotel room and Roman had been walking into the bathroom and Dean had just been done showering, opening the door of shower stall and stepping out… and it had been the moment Roman's world stopped turning. Dean, naked… with water drops running down his body. His wet hair… sticking in thick strands to his forehead, his cheeks… framing his face. Steam was flowing out of the shower stall, whirling around Dean's legs, wrapping around his well-toned body like caressing fingers. The light was glistening in the droplets on his body and his eyes were sparkling and there had been a slight blush on his cheeks… A soft smile had danced on Dean's lips and the _morning, big man_ his friend had greeted him with, wrapped in the low, velvety rumble of that sexy voice of his still echoed in his ears… still sent a tingling along his spine.

Ever since he was walking along a very thin line and one false step and Dean would _know_...

And now he was here, stuck in this situation and he had no idea how they had happened to end up like this now. With him frozen, hovering over Dean… who was lying there stretched out under him.

Well... he did know how he got into this very situation in the first place, just not how they ended up like this. Why it all suddenly shifted and tilted and slipped from a safe and simple spending some time together to... _this_...

They hadn't seen each other within the past three days and usually they were texting quite often when they didn't get so see each other, but this time the line had been dead. From Dean's side. There hadn't been messages coming back from Dean, not a single word as a reaction to about twenty messages Roman had sent and it had worried Roman because the messages right before there was silence between them had been somehow... curt. The thing was that Dean usually went curt towards him when something was bothering him. Like, really. As in, he had done something that had pissed Dean off or had hurt him, what didn't happen all too often. Luckily. Usually if Dean was pissed or sad, Roman was the first one Dean went to, to get it off his chest and let Roman calm him down.

And so he had been carrying his phone around those three days, waiting for a message that things were okay. He didn't want to push Dean. He waited. And waited. Until he couldn't stand it anymore and started to send messages to his friend again.

_Dean? You okay?_

Send.

Waiting.

Nothing.

_Three fucking days and not a single word from you. Come on, just one word would be enough. I'm fucking worried here, okay?_

Send.

Waiting.

Still... nothing.

_Okay. Dunno if I did something to piss you off or if you killed your phone again but if you read this and you need something, call me or text me. _

He'd been staring at the dark screen of his phone for minutes and he was about to put it aside and go out for a run, as finally a message flashed up.

_Actually there is something I need._

Relieved that Dean didn't seem to be angry at him for whatever, he texted back: _Sure, what is it?_

_Company._

For a long moment Roman had been staring at the screen of his phone, swallowing hard. Here he was looking at a single word on the screen of a phone and... how could a single word sound so... forlorn?

_As luck will have it, I've put quite a bit of company aside for very special people. How about I'll come over and bring some of it along?_

This time the answer was fast.

_Sounds good._

So he headed for Dean's place and brought him some company. Much needed company obviously because the Dean he found there seemed to be... Roman couldn't put his finger on what it was, but his friend seemed _not to be okay_.

They had spent the afternoon with a few rounds on the X-Box, some basketball and talking but it all had only been _superficial_. For Roman it had been okay though the way it was. He was here and had an eye on Dean and Dean was old enough to decide whether he would spill what was on his mind and when, if he really wanted to talk about it.

Pushing Dean in these things had never worked and so... no pushing.

The casual just hanging out together had neatly ended in Roman staying over night and in watching sports and having some drinks. Some more drinks actually and usually the presence of the other worked like a comforting blanket made out of ease to both of them but tonight it was somehow different. The air between them kind of seemed to hum. Glances were stolen, inquiring, pondering. Careful glances. Dark glances, heavy with something raw. And although Roman noticed Dean looking at him this way, he wasn't sure if he was only imagining things because there was still something bothering Dean and he only misread what showed on his friend's face and in his eyes or maybe it was because of this thingy Roman felt for Dean that kept simmering deep within him unceasingly. Or maybe it was just all of it combined with a tad too much alcohol that peeled carefully built covers away.

And whatever it was that was layed bare... it got stronger.

Roman had done his best to ignore it, just like he was trying to do every single day... although this tactic hadn't been much successful so far. They talked and drank and joked around and _drank._ And wasn't the nice thing about drinking that after passing a certain point any worries became relative, things became quite funny when they actually weren't that funny at all and the world around became a nice and warm and fuzzy bubble? So it had happened that as Dean grabbed Roman's phone, muttering something about needing to google whatever, Roman had only stared at the other man with a silly grin while Dean was typing with both thumbs, sweeping over the screen and Roman was sure he had never before heard his phone do the kind of peep and blip sounds it was doing that very moment. Actually it had pretty much reminded him of a tiny version of R2D2.

It had been then that Roman's brain had piped up, pointing out that it was _his_ phone Dean was holding in hands. His groaned _I swear if you kill it, I'm gonna kill you _as he more fell than actually rolled overo to snatch it out of the other man's hand had only caused Dean to jump up from his place without handing the device back to its owner and every time Roman had approached him, he'd somehow managed to escape and bring some distance between them, always grinning, snorting while digging through the on the phone stored things and by the comments he gave he'd found the photos.

Not good...

And Dean just hadn't stopped this silly game of catch me if you can, doing the Dancebrose and this annoying yet in a strange way sexy little pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek and bottom lip thingy... gazing at Roman with impishly sparkling eyes, blue and vivid and somehow the shadow of depression which had been lying on the other man had been gone, leaving only a teasing and goddamn sexy Dean behind. Unruly falling hair... the tip of a tongue, flicking over lips which were stretched to a smirk... the muscles of nicely shaped arms flexing under smooth skin... that low, rough voice wrapping around his name teasingly...

It wasn't really surprising though that it happened... that Dean found _that one button combination_ again that caused a total blackout and this time he had neatly pushed it in Roman, causing a short-curcuit in him and shut down every single bit of good judgement and self-control.

Still... _how_ exactly they had ended up like this now... really, not the faintest idea...

He had Dean's arms pinned to the floor above his head. Dean's mouth was slightly open as he breathed quickly but that smirk was still playing on his lips. And there was warmth, radiating off of the body beneath Roman and warm and Whiskey scented puffs of air were flowing over his face. Dean's shirt was riding up a little, exposing tempting abs and skin that looked so very soft. And Dean's eyes… those eyes were heavily lidded. And deep. They shouldn't be so deep. It just wasn't fair because Roman was drawn in by those depths and he couldn't find a hold to safe himself.

All it would take was to lean down, close the bit of distance between them and taste Dean's lips, claim them and mark him as his… Every single fiber in his body longed to do it. So much it hurt… and weren't Dean's eyes coming closer…?

"Okay, you win," Dean snorted and it was what stopped Roman from leaning down further.

"What?" Roman breathed confused.

Fuck, he had almost… kissed Dean…

"I said you win," Dean repeated, wiggling the fingers of his right hand that still held Roman's phone. "Take your phone and get off, you're heavy, ya know?"

The smell of alcohol in Dean's breath, combined with his aftershave was intoxicating, making him stay where he was, unmoving when it would have been the right thing to bring some distance between them.

Get up, a voice somewhere from the depths of the fog in his head warned.

You fucking stay where you are, his body demanded.

He should move. He couldn't. He fucking _could not_ because finally he was right where he wanted to be...

... where he _needed_ to be...

His hand brushed up, covering Dean's hand which held his phone... his fingers slipping between the other man's and there were sparks. He felt goddamn _sparks_ where their fingers touched and suddenly he was hyperaware of the hard yet soft body beneath him, of every inch of contact.

His fingers curled, trapping Dean's hand in his.

Mine. _Mine_...

"It's not working," Roman whispered as he realised that he couldn't go on like he'd done the whole time, that with coming here, with letting _this_ happen... that he'd stepped onto a path with no way back...

"Then try a hard… thingy… uhm, reset, right? Yeah, hard reset."

His eyes swept back to bright blue orbs and Roman just gazed at his friend for a long moment. He felt his heart speed up as the twinkle in those eyes seemed to touch it, felt his chest tighten. Breathing was suddenly hard.

"Huh, a hard reset, yeah," he forced out. "A fucking hard reset. If it only was that easy. But it isn't," he added a bit shakily.

He heard that Dean spoke to him but he didn't really _hear_ the words. His gaze briefly swept back to their joined hands, his brows furrowing in sadness. There was an odd silence for a moment and if Dean hadn't noticed anything before, he sure did now and Roman could see it on the other man's face, see a subtle change the expression in his eyes. The air between them suddenly became thick as the mood in it changed, shifting and slipping into a dangerous direction... leaving him skating on thin ice.

"Rome..." An odd note was lacing into the single word, causing Roman to stiffen involuntary. "I've seen... it..."

Low, hesitant. And although Roman wasn't sure what Dean was referring to, those words settled down in his guts freezing cold.

"You've seen what?" Roman asked then carefully, his voice unfamiliar light to his own ears and from the corner of his eye he saw Dean lift his hand which was holding the phone a little.

It dawned on him what Dean had seen and it made the hair on his neck raise.

"The pic," the other man replied, still lowly, still hesitant. A tad wary even. "Why do you have a pic of me sleeping on your phone?"

Shit.

He had taken that picture of Dean a while ago and if it wouldn't have been digital, that very picture would probably have been badly scuffed by now because he was gazing at it at least once a day, for minutes. There were days when he barely could put his phone aside... when he couldn't stop gazing at that picture of Dean... sleeping. Lying in his bed with only boxers and the duvet entangled with his legs, one hand stuffed under his pillow while the other was resting on this tempting belly and... Dean was looking like an angel on that picture, free of all worries.

_Fuck._

Finally getting a grip on himself and he wrenched his eyes away somehow, releasing the trapped hands as he climbed to his feet and moved away from Dean, his gaze fixed on the floor. He didn't want to see the look on Dean's face. It was enough to feel the other man's eyes pierce into him. From the corner of his eye he saw Dean get up, too, and he was just standing there, his fingers still tightly wrapped around the phone while his other hand was clenched to a fist. Roman's heart hammered in his chest. In fear. Because he couldn't just walk out of here now, couldn't wake up from a bad dream and tell himself things were still alright.

"Roman, look at me," Dean muttered but Roman did not obey.

His head told him to get out of here somehow while his body demanded to feel Dean again and...

"_Roman!_"

"I _want you_, okay?!" Roman shouted, the words passing his lips too fast for his brain to stop his tongue from forming them and the second they were out, his heart plummeted to his belly.

_Fuck_, flashed through his mind. _Fucking shit..._

And Dean...? Dean straightened up ever so slightly, his features becoming oddly smooth in realization and the blue eyes widened the tiniest bit... just enough to unleash a surge of so many different emotions towards Roman that he couldn't read them. Roman _couldn't read_ what was written there and it made his heart stumble and sent a chill down his spine.

"I... I'm..." he began but whatever he wanted to say, it died in his throat.

Apologize? Like, I'm sorry that you're too damn hot for your own good? Like, I'm sorry that somewhere along the line you crept too deep under my skin? Fucking like, sorry that with all those ugly and beautiful sides you have you're too perfect as not to... to...

... to be wanted...?

The silence between them was thick, so very thick and it grew until it seemed to block the world around them out. Roman didn't move, couldn't actually because Dean's stare nailed him to the very spot he was standing in, waiting for a reaction.

After an agonizingly long moment Dean blinked once, shaking his head barely noticeably as if he'd just woken up from a trance and his gaze dropped to the phone in his hand. He was breathing fast, his shoulders stiff and somewhat hunched. The silence stayed and became unbearably thick as Roman still could only look at the other man, watched as Dean lifted his other hand to press its heel against his temple and screwed his eyes shut briefly as if he was fighting a battle with himself... before he gazed back up.

_Something_... flashed up in those eyes... and it was the only warning Roman got.

Tossing the phone aside, Dean shot forward, passing the short distance between them too quickly for Roman to process what was just happening. For a second he was almost sure that Dean was about to hit him right in the face and he wanted to lift his hands to block the punch... that never came. Hands on his shoulders, shoving him back against the wall with enough force to knock the breath out of him and those hands kept him pinned there while fingers dug painfully into the thick muscles.

In a world where they wouldn't have been drunk and feelings wouldn't have been so hard to understand, to read and to admit it would have been easier to do the right thing. In that world they might have talked about it or tried to find their way through this now carefully and gentle. But even if that world existed and tried to seep into this moment now, it sure was bouncing off of the hard shell of reality that had built around them.

With a throaty, growl like sound Dean smashed their lips together... and the world... stilled...

\- tbc -

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**Do you have a few words for me?**


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! Thank you so much for all the feedback! I'm still overwhelmed XD

I'm so happy that you guys like my Dean and Roman and as promised, here we have the second chapter. It might be a bit... surprising. Different. But I hope you'll like this one as much as the first chapter :3

I wish all of you a wonderful New Year's Eve and as we in Germany say 'Einen guten Rutsch!'. I hope all of you will start the new year happily with your families and friends and lots of fun.

Thanks to everyone who gave my stories their attention! See you in 2015!

Love you, guys :)

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Roman's gasp of surprise got lost between them. Teeth clicked as Dean used the chance to deepen the kiss, thrusting his tongue into Roman's mouth. This _kiss_, it was fierce, brutal. Angry.

With another growl Dean pushed against him hard, as if he wanted to shove him right through the wall and it was the moment Roman shook the surprise off. His hands shot up, one twisting in the front of the other man's shirt, the other grabbing a fistful of blond messy locks while finally fighting back. Tongues pushed, slid against each other, spiced with sharp gasps and hisses, with growls slipping past eager lips to flow into the bit of space between them.

Tugging hard at the blond hair, Roman held Dean's head in place as he angled his head so he could ravish, devour the other man's mouth. He pushed away from the wall, moving in on Dean who tried to force him back again. Without success. A hand grabbed the black mane, ripping at it while the other kept digging into Roman's shoulder hard enough to leave bruises.

This was a battle. For dominance. Of power. Of this _something_ that was there, simmering between them when it shouldn't be there at all... this spark of a longing that should never have been felt. It crackled all over his skin, sparking even brighter were Dean touched him... until he _burned_. And Dean... he burned, too. Hot. Like a wildfire unleashed that set all it touched inflame and it had him rock hard within seconds.

They fought, against each other and maybe against themselves, shoving, ripping, pushing and Dean pressed against him... and it was then that Roman noticed something hard digging into in his hip. There was a hard tug at the collar of his shirt and the sound of tearing fabric. The hand in his hair moved to the back of his head, holding him close. His lungs screamed for air but fuck, he fucking wouldn't break this kiss now. And he moved, forcing Dean backwards step by step until they reached the couch. There was a grunt as Dean tried to shove him away once more, causing them both to lose balance and they fell together, hands holding on to each other tightly and Dean's attempt to roll them over somehow to get the upper hand was stopped as Roman came to lie between his legs, grinding his hips against Dean's. And the low, stuttering groan that ripped from Dean's throat, it tasted delicious and the jolts of heat that shot throughout his body as Dean rolled hips, pressing their cocks against each other, it silenced the last whisper of the voice of reason somewhere in the fog that engulfed his mind.

_... more..._

There was a buzzing in his ears as his blood pumped through his veins, heavy with that raw craving he harbored for this man, that need that had been unfulfilled for too long. He somehow managed to bring a hand between their bodies and down to free both their cocks while his other found a place under Dean's back to hold the writhing body close. His torn shirt was ripped open further, was pushed out of the way by fingers which hungrily wandered over his skin. A hiss escaped his throat at a sharp pain as Dean bit down on his bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood. He didn't care. For the briefest of moments they both stilled as Roman wrapped his hand around both their lengths, before he began to stroke them fast while thrusting into his own hand and with a mewled fuck Dean bucked hard against him, matching his rhythm. He couldn't think anymore, could only feel. The fire within him, its searing heat, it was devouring him as he quickened the pace even more. There was a dull pain of blunt nails that were raked over his back and lips on his neck, sucking on the sensitive skin and teeth grazing over it wandering over to his shoulder.

Closing his eyes, he buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck, breathed him... tasting the thin sheen of sweat that covered his skin. Their sharp breathing and gasps, shreds of incoherent cursing and moans filled the air around them while Roman's hand pushed them closer and closer to the edge. Dean bucked his hips faster, harder, spurring him on and much too soon the fire, _the pleasure_ that was running through him, spread and crawled up his spine and made his skin prick and the jolts of electricity became too bright, pooling in his stomach. His thrusts grew shallow and erratic as he felt the familiar tightening of his body like a silent begging to let go and Dean was right there with him. A few lasts strokes and a slight twist of his hand...

With a drawn-out moan Dean came and the feeling of the throbbing flesh in his hand drew Roman over the edge. He thrust down hard, trapping their cocks and his hand between their body, Dean's name a twisted little sound on his lips.

Faintly he felt Dean's arms slip from his back and with a last deep breath of Dean scented air, he braced on his arm to take some weight from the body beneath him. Disorentated seconds. Floating moments as they rode on the waves of the aftermath... and Roman could only, gaze down into those heavily lidded eyes, dazed in contentment, which looked at him yet not, eyes which were almost black and so very, very deep... Leaning in he breathed a kiss to Dean's forehead, running tender fingertips down the side of his face affectionately because he _needed_ to.

And then... it happened. Like a switch being flipped...

Dean's eyes widened and the expression in those blue orbs changed, the dazed contentment morphing to awareness... and then to something that was a frightening mixture of shock and guilt, sadness and anger and it hit Roman with enough force to rob him of his breath and caused his chest to constrict painfully. And for a long second all he could do was stare at the man who was tensing up under him, whose breathing was quickening again. A hard push against his shoulders almost sent him falling from the couch as Dean tried to shove him off, tried to get out from under him, struggling and crawling and bucking to get away but Roman's weight kept him pinned down. It was a sharp pain as Dean clawed at his shoulders that pulled him out of the surprise that had caused him to remain unmoving.

"Get off!" Dean growled, once more rearing up under him.

A quiet yelp passed his lips as the other man grabbed a few strands of his hair, yanking hard at it.

"Dean... _Dean, stop_!" he grunted as he tried to get a hold on the other man's arms and somehow he managed to close his hands around Dean's wrists, pinning them down to the armrest above them.

Another moment of wild struggling followed, but the fight Dean put up was getting weaker and weaker... until the resistance died away completely.

Quietness. But only briefly.

Then: "Fuck you! _Get the fuck_ _off_, Reigns!"

Blue eyes bore into grey ones and the anger in them was getting stronger, reaching the quality he's tasted in that first kiss and Roman wanted to ask what the hell was wrong suddenly, but just as he opened his mouth, Dean spoke again.

"This is _your_ fucking fault, Reigns!"

Harsh. Cutting like a rusty knife, maybe because deep down Roman blamed himself for what had just happened. Yet... it wasn't entirely his fault, was it?

"My fault?" he growled back, but it wasn't a much convincing growl to his own ears. "_You_ kissed _me_, Dean!"

The answer was immediate.

"I didn't want this shit!" the other man spat, winding his hand in the vice grip to get his hands free.

"So what, you _accidentally_ fell on my _lips_?" Roman huffed, tightening his hold. He wasn't willed to let Dean get away just like that. There was still the question why Dean had kissed him and what this shit now was supposed to mean. "For someone who _didn't want this shit_ you were pretty eagerly fucking my hand! What's your fucking problem, Ambrose?!"

"_You_! You are my fucking problem, Reigns! You and that fucking photo on your fucking phone!"

"And that gives you the right to jump me like a horny dog with rabies and put the blame on me afterwards?" The words left Roman's mouth as something between a snort and a huff while Dean glared at him sharply, before turning his head to the side, staring into the room. Actually Roman wasn't sure how to react to this at all and so he blew a helpless little sigh. "Dean... this is ridiculous. We're lying here half naked with cum all over us and you know as well as I do that we both wanted this... somehow." No reaction. Dean didn't look back at him. "Dean, come on, look at me."

Still... nothing. Dean stubbornly refused to meet his gaze but _this_ was not the Dean he knew, practically retreating instead of facing the problem. If problem was the right term.

His head was spinning, his thoughts whirling because only a few minutes ago his best hidden secret had been revealed, leaving him scared that he would lose his best friend and now he was being the voice of reason...?

Hesitantly Roman let go of the other man's wrist, shifting a little to make breathing easier for him and he almost expected a punch or to be pushed away, but Dean barely moved, only brought his arms down, opening and closing his hands a little. And Roman immediately felt sorry for having held so tight that the blood circulation had been cut off. Obviously.

"I'm sorry," he said just above a whisper, gently smoothing a hand over one of the bruised wrists. All he got though was a slight and tiny twitching around tense lips. "Dean... _please_... look at me..." he added as quietly as he brought a hand to Dean's face, gently cupping the stubbled jaw to make him look at him again.

Eventually Dean gave in, wary blue eyes gingerly meeting worried grey ones and Roman watched brows furrow in... sadness? Sorrow? It pained Roman to see it because never before had his friend looked at him like this... _because_ of him.

A soft pressure on his chest again. Dean's hands, once more attempting to make him get off. There was a whispered _please_. And with a sigh Roman crawled back, giving Dean free who immediately got up, getting himself more or less dressed again before leaving the room.

"Shit," Roman muttered, wiping his unstained hand down his face. "Fuck. _Fuck_!"

Hell had broken loose, had overrun them and it had left a mess behind. And Roman could still hear its faint thunder echoe in the quietness around him.

At least Dean hadn't told him to go. It was the sound of a running shower that told him where he had retreated to and with another sigh Roman pulled his torn shirt over his head to wipe his hand clean, slipped out of his pants, adjusted his boxers before heading for the bathroom because he also needed a shower. And more important, he needed to talk to Dean about what had happened.

The moment he stepped into the room, Dean was just wrapping a towel around his waist and for a brief moment he froze, not really gazing over to Roman but side-glancing him. His hair was sticking up from being towelled dry and it looked... cute. And Roman's heart jumped a step or two but it stumbled hard as the other man suddenly moved before he could say a word, walking past him without looking at him. _Really_ looking at him.

"You can have the bathrobe," he heard him mumble.

And then Dean was gone again. But still... not one single word that Dean wanted him to go. It was good, wasn't it? It meant that nothing was lost.

The quickest shower in world history later Roman made his way to Dean's bedroom, finding him there standing in the middle of the room with his gaze fixed on a random point on the floor, his arms crossed over his chest in what looked pretty much as if he was hugging himself. And maybe he was. Both their worlds had been shaken tonight, so it wasn't surprising if he needed something to hold on to, even if it was himself.

Roman's heart had begun to run again in nervousness and even a tad fear and he balled his hands to fists as he stood there because they were trembling. His chest tightened. He wanted it to stop. He fucking wanted his heart to slow down and the trembling to stop and his breathing... it shouldn't be that hard to breathe. Drawing air against what felt like a vice grip around his chest he willed his tongue to form the breath he released to words.

"Can we please talk about it?" was what came out, somewhat choked though.

"You got what you wanted," he heard Dean force out. "What's there to talk about?"

"Maybe why you kissed me first?" At that Dean's gaze snapped up to him, sharp and piercing and it left a cut somewhere deep within Roman that his friend looked at him like that. "What? Don't give me that look, you could have stopped it before I had my hand on your dick. You wanted it, too, Dean, you..."

"Yeah! Fuck, yeah, I wanted it, too!" Dean cut him off harshly, his eyes narrowing but there was a shadow of panic and fear lying in them. "Happy now?!"

It made Roman want to pull him into a tight embrace and soothe his troubles away but for once he couldn't do it, knowing that right now he would only make things worse.

"Then why are your freaking on me like that?" he said instead, trying hard to give his voice a calming note. Difficult, since he himself was far from being calm. "I mean, we both wanted it, so..."

"God, Roman, you're my best friend, damnit! You're my goddamn best friend, that's why I fucking freak over this shit! _Fuck_!"

Instinctively Roman took a step closer. And Dean took a step back. It hurt, like a slap to the face.

"And you're _my_ best friend. What happened... there's nothing _bad_ about it, you know? I don't regret it and I..." Roman fell silent for a brief moment, tasting the words which were lying on his tongue. "I want you. I do for a while now," he said then quietly. "And to be honest, I don't want this to be a fling."

He could see a brief glinting in Dean's eyes as he said this. And once again he couldn't name what it was he saw there.

"Do you love me?" Dean said so very quietly that Roman almost missed it.

"I... yeah. You're my best friend, my brother, of course I do love you," he replied, seeing various expressions fleet over the other man's face.

None of them nameable. And never before had he felt so _helpless_. He watched as Dean screwed his eyes shut and turned away, dipping his head forward as he brought a hand to the back of his head, his fingers curling into the blond locks. Again his breathing was quickening. He was fighting with himself. Again.

"That's not what I meant," Dean whispered. "Do you..." He stopped. There was a barely audible _fuck_, nothing more than a breath. Then: "Do you _love_ me?"

A legitimate question given that Roman had a picture of Dean, sleeping, on his phone and after they had just had, well, sex after he'd blurted out that he wanted Dean. And he had been at this point before. Did he love Dean? As his brother, his best friend, yes. As one of the most important persons in his life... yes. But was he _in love_ with Dean...?

"I... I'm not sure," Roman answered hesitantly but truthfully because... maybe he was.

And now that they were here, that it all had been revealed, the thought of them being more than brothers and friends was... it was good.

Dean walked over to the other side of the bed then and sat down on its edge with a heavy sigh, clutching his hands tightly while strictly staring out of the window. But he kept silent. A second. Two. Before Roman climbed onto the bed, sitting there close to the other man.

"Dean, I don't want to lose you as my brother and best friend but I also don't want _this_ to end here. And if this turns out to be more than just a bodily attraction, then I'll happily walk that way with you at my side." Gingerly he scooted closer, settling a hand on the other man's side. There was the tiniest of twitches as he touched him, but Dean didn't move away from this touch. The bare skin was wonderfully soft against his palm and warm. "But if you tell me now that you don't want it, then..."

He trailed off but he didn't need to say it aloud, did he? The message was clear, hanging in the air between them and while he waited for a reaction, he hoped, prayed that Dean wanted this, too. Dean's hands, although clasped tightly, twitched and his shoulders were tensing up, but wasn't he leaning into Roman's hand ever so slightly...?

"Why me?" he heard him ask. And yes, there definitely was a pressure against Roman's palm. His heart... it did a tiny somersault in his chest... "There are countless girls and even guys out there who'd give their fucking right arm to get a piece of you and you..." Again silence for a second or two. Then: "You could have the world... Why _me_, Rome?"

The odd note of disbelief and uncertainty in the rough voice didn't go unnoticed by Roman. And here he had thought that he'd seen _all_ of Dean's colorful sides, yet it seemed that there had been one more, hidden behind all those others and it was dyed with self-doubt.

"I don't want the world," Roman said hushed. "Compared to you, the world is pale and boring. I don't even know where to begin because... you're like a gem no one wants because it's imperfect but if you really look at it you'll see that it's the most beautiful thing in the world. _I see you_, Dean, and to me you are that gem. To me you're perfect just the way you are." He inched even closer, shifting until he sat behind Dean, his legs framing him. And Dean didn't move away. Gingerly he wrapped his arms around the other man's chest, pulling him back as there was no resistance. Dean was still breathing quickly and his heart was beating fast, its rushed pounding a faint echo against Roman's palm. "You know me and I know that I can trust you. With you I feel safe and _good_. When you're not there, I miss you and when I have you around, I don't want you to go." He tightened the embrace a little to underline his words as he continued: "_This_ feels good and it felt so fucking good to kiss you and... I don't give a shit about the world out there, Dean. I want _you_, _all _of you..."

Trailing off, he rested his forehead against the back of Dean's head, waiting for him to speak, the brief moment feeling like a goddamn eternity to him.

"I should have never let this happen. I should... I... You need to go..." Dean mumbled eventually in a faraway voice and the color his words wore, their tinge, was odd and forlorn.

But while the words were telling him that he had to go, Dean's hands which closed around his wrists, not to peel his arms off but to pull them tighter around the leaner frame and the body that pressed closer to Roman whispered a different message. And Roman... decided to listen to that whisper that was so much louder that the words in the otherwise reigning quietness.

"_Dean_..." he breathed, begged even, nuzzling his face against the blond hair.

There was a barely there sound, so quiet that he wasn't sure if it _really_ had been there. That oh so tiny sound... so close to a... sob...?

"Rome, I... I can't lose you, okay? And I know that it will happen if we, you know... if we give in to this now." A short pause. Then: "You know that I'm... difficult. Fuck, what am I telling you here, you've seen my ugly sides often enough. Huh... But the last time I allowed a friendship to become more, I lost that person because after a while they got sick of putting up with me and my... issues. There is a difference between being friends and being in a relationship. Every time I let someone closer, they leave me sooner or later."

Quiet. His voice. Too quiet and _much_ too sober. For a endlessly long second Roman's heart refused to beat. A chill ran down his spine to hear those words and to see Dean so... so fragile...

"You said it yourself, I've seen your ugly sides but I love them just as I love all those other sides of you. It all, it what makes you who you are," Roman said softly. "I _know_ who you are and I'm not gonna leave you. Ever. Whether we go back to being best buddies or if we get out of this as more. _I am not gonna leave you_."

He would keep this promise, no matter what. Tightening his hold on the other man, Roman held him as close as possible, yet gently, willing all the warmth he felt for Dean into this simple gesture. And Dean sagged a little in his embrace, leaning back against him. His breathing was calming down, Roman noticed, while his mind spun as he tried to process the events of the evening. An evening that had been supposed to be a companionable time together and had turned into a desaster in the blink of an eye... yet it was good that it had happened, wasn't it? The truth had been revealed, had only forged the bond between them stronger.

And suddenly... Dean moved. Roman's arms were lifted off of that body he wanted to hold close and shield from harm and he watched as Dean stood up, turned around to him with an achingly sad expression on his face.

_Please don't send me away..._ Roman thought, wanted to say it but before he could say even one word, Dean climbed onto his lap, straddling his thighs and Roman immediately brought his arms back around the other man.

_... mine...?_

A hand dove in Roman's hair, combed through the velvet strands while the other settled on his shoulder. Blue eyes roamed his face and there was still disbelief lying in them... but the sadness, it faded. Slowly... but steadily.

_... mine..._

The blue orbs locked gazes with him then, so open and vulnerable and he saw it there, that last bit of innocence, shining in their depths. Beautiful. Precious.

"I don't think that I would ever get over it if I lost you, Rome."

This time it wasn't a whispered but spoken clear and steady, yet the usually low rumbling voice was unfamiliar light and he wondered if Dean had ever shown this side of him to anyone before and the trust he was showing was breathtaking, yet at the same time was almost scary to see him like this, so vulnerable.

_Mine._

"Well, since I don't think that _I_ would ever get over losing _you_, I suggest we simply shouldn't lose each other," he replied, allowing a trace of amusement to lace into it to lighten the mood a little.

A puffed little laughter.

"And you think it's as easy as that?"

"Yup."

"I'll piss you off constantly, you know that."

Shrugging his shoulders, Roman said: "So what? I piss you off on regular basis, too, don't I?"

"And you'll hate me every once in a while."

"Happened before, I'm used to it. But we'll get over it as always and now I'll at least get some hot make up sex afterwards."

Quietness. A smirk on tempting lips.

"You know that I hog blankets," Dean reminded him.

"Oh yeah, I _know_. You have no idea how often I've spend the night freezing my ass off while sharing a bed with you, do you?" Roman snorted, frowning in slight amusement. "I'll simply hog _you_, then I'll get my blanket, too."

Dean trailed his index finger down the middle of Roman's chest, but it was the bottom lip that got trapped between his teeth what caught Roman's interest and with a hum he leaned in, hesitantly though, freeing it from its prison with a sweet little kiss.

"I want sex once a day, Reigns," Dean breathed against his lips.

"Only once a day?"

Another tiny kiss. An appreciating, rumbling hum. And Roman could only imagine what this voice would cause in him when he had this man writhing under him, moaning and groaning and...

"_At least_."

... screaming his name.

"Sounds better to me," Roman mumbled.

"I'm topping."

Dean grinned into the featherlight contact of their lips and Roman couldn't help but smile. It was back, their little alpha male thingy.

"No, Ambrose, I'm topping."

"Uh, nope. I'm topping, Reigns."

Roman laughed softly, shaking his head a little.

"How about we take turns?" he suggested, raising an eyebrow in question.

A pondering quietness followed.

Then: "Mmh, okay."

"Good. You'll beg me to fuck you again anyway when I'm done with you."

"Wow, pretty much bigmouthed, Reigns."

"You know that I'm The Man, Deano."

A soft but surprising smack to his head followed.

"Ugh, don't call me that."

"Dean-ooo."

He watched as the other man wrinkled his nose.

"Ro-Ro."

"Don't Ro-Ro me," Roman grumbled.

"Ro-Ro," Dean grinned. "Ro-Ro-Ro..."

"Ambrose..." he warned, playfull pinching the other man in the side.

"You Deano-ed me first, so fucking stop complaining about being Ro-Ro-ed, Reigns," Dean snorted, resting their foreheads together.

"I don't have a problem with you calling me Ro, just don't Ro-Ro me."

"No Deano, then no Ro-Ro," Dean mumbled, tilting his head a little to brush his lips over Roman's.

"Sounds like a deal."

With that Roman made a kiss out of the featherlight contact, running his tongue over Dean's bottom lip, gently sucking and nibbling at it. Entrance was granted... their tongues meeting half-way for a gentle dance.

The kiss broke eventually and quietness followed, filled with only soft gazes and equally soft smiles and the mood had changed, had become lighter and as corny as it probably sounded, but there was also a fluffy happiness seeping into it. Dean breathed a tiny sigh then, tucking a few strands of the black mane behind Roman's ear. He looked relieved, Roman noticed, as much as Roman himself felt relieved. And maybe he also looked... freed.

"Dean?" he murmured, getting a soft _yeah_ in response. "You haven't seen the picture only just tonight, have you?"

Shaking his head no, Dean sighed: "No. I, uhm... actually I've seen it the last time we've been at the company while you were in the ring. Been waiting for you in your locker room and I, you know, wanted to google something and my phone was in my locker. So I used your phone."

"And you accidently stumbled right into my stored pictures," Roman snorted and it wasn't even a question because it was pretty much possible that Dean had actually taken the wrong turn and thus ended up in the stored pictures instead of the internet browser.

This was Dean '_I think I just deleted the internet_' Ambrose after all...

"Uh... yeah..."

"My phone has a code lock," Roman said slowly as the image of Dean, sitting on the couch not long ago while using his phone came back to him.

He hadn't unlocked the phone for Dean.

"Uhm, well... I thought it might be either Seth's date of birth or mine." Dean shot him a smirk. "Pretty cute to use the date of birth of your friends."

His hears heated up for no actual reason, because using the date of birth of a friend was okay, wasn't it? He could have chosen the date of birth of his mother or the date when he signed for the main roster or...

"You know, it was kinda... confusing... to find that pic on your phone," Dean admitted, the smirk being wiped away.

"That why you didn't text me back?" Roman wanted to know, wondering how Dean must've felt, finding an intimate picture like that one on his best friend's phone.

_It would have thrown me completely off track if I had been in his situation_, Roman thought and because he _needed_ to do it, he brought a hand up to a stubbled cheek and the feeling of the soft roughness against the pad of his thumb as he brushed over it felt wonderful.

"Yes and no," Dean mumbled, turning his face into the touch. "That thing between us... I've felt it, too, Rome. All the time." A kiss was breathed to Roman's palm and that new and intimate and so very soft closeness between them caused warmth to bloom in his chest and in the midst of that warmth there was a _spark_. It mirrored in those captivating cyan orbs, creating a glow in them. "I fought it down, that feeling, because I couldn't risk losing you and somehow it worked. Until I found the pic. Huh... for the last three days I've tried to get a grip on myself but every single of your messages made me only miss you more and... fuck, it fucking made me _want_ you even more and today I just couldn't stand it any longer. I wanted to see you, Rome. I _needed_ to." Leaning back, Dean slipped his hands under the collar of the bathrobe, pushing the fabric aside. "Then suddenly we're lying there on the floor and for a moment I thought you'd kiss me and... and then you tell me that you want me. I, uh, I think I just, you know, kinda snapped and kissed you..."

Goosebumps ran over Roman's skin as those hands smoothed over his shoulders and down his arms, freeing his upper body from the thick fabric until it pooled around his waist. Blue orbs wandered over his chest and lingered at the black inked art. A finger found to the dark lines, tracing the patterns, while his own hands found back to the other man's body to explore every reachable spot almost shyly.

He knew this body, had seen it naked so often. Had touched it. Yet he didn't _know_ it. This all was new to him, the smoothness of Dean's skin, its well-toned relief. The way those muscles flexed under his palms. And how this tempting body reacted to every single of his touches. And there was _so much more_.

His musing was interrupted as Dean leaned in to hide his face in the crook of his neck while wrapping his arms around it. With a sigh Dean pressed close, closer, almost as if he wanted to crawl right under Roman's skin.

"Can we stay like this for a little longer, Ro?"

The rough voice was muffled but Roman could clearly hear exhaustion lying in it. Bringing his arms around the leaner frame to hold him safe, he breathed a kiss to Dean's shoulder before resting his chin on it.

"Sure," he said hushed. "As long as you want."

A hum. A content little sound.

Then: "I swear I'll kill you if you tell anyone how fucking pathethic I am, Reigns."

"I won't tell anyone," Roman promised and it was back, that need to step between the world and Dean to protect this precious and so innocent side of him.

And also this infinitely fragile side of a man who did not fear death nor devil...

"Ro?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you wake me with a blow-job? You know, stress relief and stuff," Dean said totally seriously, yet Roman could have sworn that he felt him smile against his skin.

"Stress relief, huh?" he chuckled softly. An affirmative hum was the answer. "Well, in that case I can't say no, can I?"

This time the hum was agreeing.

Then: "Ro?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could... uh... _love_ me?"

Dean's voice sounded... small... and it freed an ache in Roman that was as bitter as it was sweet, but it also brought that warmth along that bloomed in his chest and with it came that _spark_... or rather... a flame... and it burned bright. And maybe he should have been shocked or at least surprised as the epiphany hit him, but he wasn't. This very moment, it was a piece of perfection.

"Dean, look at me," he demanded softly and as Dean drew back, there was an insecure expression on his face that dimmed a little as Roman brought a hand up, brushing his thumb over his cheek.

"I don't think I could," he said softly. "I think I already do..."

"Good. That's good," Dean whispered, nodding ever so slightly. "Because I think I already do love you, too."

Their words faded off yet lingered in their own little world around them as Dean leaned in again and claimed Roman's mouth. A soft touch of lips... breathless little sounds of happiness as the kiss deepend. It was lazy, that kiss, and it was sweet. _Loving_. It stole Roman's breath and made him forget about everything but the man he was holding in his arms. Dean's scent in his nostrils and his taste on his tongue. There was a tingling were Dean touched him and there was his warmth under Roman's touch. It made his heart sing. Dean shifted a little and angled his head, deepening the kiss and his pleased hum vibrated throughout Roman, causing a funny feeling in his belly.

Yes, this was a piece of perfection and here he was, holding this imperfect gem that was precious beyond words in his hand... and this gem, it belonged to him now. And he would protect it. Forever.

\- End -

* * *

Now, this was a little different, wasn't it? Somehow I feel like the toughest guys hide a very vulnerable thing under all those layers of being 'a man', so... for once here we have a rather 'fragile' Dean. Hope you aren't too disappointed now ;3

**However... liked it? Tell me :)**


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